The Story Of MANKIND

The Story of Mankind has always had an impressive power over me. My history with the book extends over two decades, but it has exerted its particular influence in such a way so as to prevent me from reading it in its entirety until now. I first checked it out at around age ten and have repeated that process literally dozens of times since. Every library has it because it received the medal in 1922, the first year the Newbery medal was ever awarded. And so, unlike all the other Newberys I have yet to read, accessibility has never been the problem. No, the actual issue that I have always faced with The Story of Mankind is more complex. I will reveal its power, but you must know that I am being completely and unadulteratedly honest with you on the subject. Once I discovered it, I tested it repeatedly and discovered the same result without fail (like, not even one time). Are you ready? I cannot read more than ten pages of The Story of Mankind without falling asleep.

Now, if you will allow me to do some math, I will illustrate why this book's particular power has been so debilitating for so long. The book contains 562 pages and since the average number of pages I reach before falling asleep is actually much lower than 10 (but never more than 10), reading the entire book would amount to roughly 80 naps. Now factor in that each of those naps could be anywhere between 30 minutes and 3 hours (let's say the average is 2 hours) and I would sleep roughly 160 hours before reaching the final page. If it takes me 1.5 minutes to read a page of text, the reading portion of this calculation would amount to around 14 hours. This means that if I checked out the book from an average public library and renewed it the maximum number of times (twice), I would have six weeks to complete my 174 hour task (I take overdue fines very seriously). With 168 hours in a week minus 56 hours for sleep (the book naps were never part of my night sleeping), 14 hours for meals, 50 hours for work (or 70 if I'm teaching public school), 12 hours for church and church activities, and 7 hours for "getting ready" time, I would have approximately 29 hours left in the week to dedicate to other pursuits. If I had spent all of my free time for six straight weeks, I could have reached the last page on the day my last renewal expired. As a pre-teen and teen, my attention span was never long enough for this type of endeavor (I usually pooped out before reaching page 50), and as an adult I preferred using those 29 free hours for social interaction (though I did still check it out and attempt it on numerous occasions). Is it any wonder I've tried and failed to read this book for the last 20 years?

I had to try something new. This past summer, I decided it was time. I hadn't spent an entire summer reading a book since I took a used copy of Les Miserables to the Philippines 11 years ago. I worked out a system where I brought the book back to the library every 6 weeks and asked the librarians to check it in and check it back out to me ("As long as there isn't a hold on the book." "Nobody has ever placed a hold on this book, I assure you."). I did this twice (18 weeks). I took dozens and dozens of naps. I fought indifference and boredom. I learned a few things about Napoleon. I laughed twice. I cried never. I solidified my belief that European monarchy history is painfully uninteresting. The word "revolution" transformed me. And, finally, I read the last page.