Bridge to Terabithia

I have a very distinct memory from the first time I read Bridge to Terabithia. The day was February 9, 1995 and I was 10. My mom was out running some kind of errand when I finished the book. I remember being wracked with uncontrollable, body-heaving sobs. And for some reason, I really wanted my mom to see me crying. Maybe I needed comfort, maybe I wanted her to be impressed by how emotionally affected I was by the novel, maybe I thought it would connect us in some way? But I searched the house for her only to discover the van wasn't in the garage. So then I sat on the steps in the garage and waited for her, sobbing. After a while, the urge to cry and mourn for Leslie and Jess started to wane, which worried me because I really wanted my mom to see me crying. When my mom finally did come home, I still had tears on my face, but I wasn't crying nearly as much as before. I had to explain to my mom how much I had been crying earlier which didn't have the effect I wanted and disappointed me more than I could understand why. But I think Bridge to Terabithia was instrumental in helping me discover that I loved it when books made me cry and since then I have realized that having good long cries over books (and movies) served some purpose for me emotionally that I really needed throughout my adolescence.

Anyway, I think I cried two tears this time around, which was sufficient. I'm not sure Leslie's death has to happen, either, does it? Does it serve some purpose in Jess's development? Or is it just a tragedy to evoke strong emotion in the reader? I just couldn't help but feel like it was a gratuitous death. Wouldn't it have been better for Jess if he could have continued being friends with Leslie throughout their lives? She's so cool! And he's so cool! Gah. In my version of this story, Leslie and Jess grow old together. They thrill everyone they meet and fill the world with creativity and depth and kindness and they fight injustice together and Jess continues to be in awe of Leslie and everything she says and does for as long as he knows her, which is forever. THAT is how the story really ends.